A Ranting Good Time With Neo
by N30Force
Summary: Due to the fact that my previous rants were deleted for non-story-ness, I've redid my rant, this time, it's taken on a story-like format.
1. TLOS Logical Ranting

Neo walks onstage to make a public speech, in front of many creatures.

"This text is made because I felt like ranting today, I do not mean to bash this game in any way, there is nothing wrong with this game." Says Neo to the applause of people.

"Firstly, when Spyro pulled the world together, he must've generated a humongous amount of gravity, enough to crumble the world together instead of saving it. This would've also generated a black hole that would've sucked the whole solar system from existence."

"Secondly, the planet's core should be made up of magma, not a crystal! The heat t the center of the world would've of melted the destroyer before it destroyed the world. Spyro would've been melted before reaching the center, but he didn't even have to because even Malefor couldn't sustain the heat. IT MAKES NO SENSE! If the world exploded then the magma would explode everywhere, by the way, they shouldn't be able to fight at the center because magma would've engulfed it."

"Thirdly, if the world crumbled, then so would the ozone. The sun would be able to puncture the magnetosphere meaning the remaining pieces would burn. There would be no oxygen because it would've dissipated into space. The magma would freeze. Life would be lost!"

"Fourthly, if Spyro was trapped inside the time crystal, then he wouldn't be able to grow, he would be in hibernation mode which means his body won't create growth hormones, if he could survive without oxygen for THREE WHOLE YEARS!"

"Then again, if Spyro did grew, then he would've outgrown the mold he was trapped in which means the crystal would shatter years ago. He would be able to stop Malefor and save the world! Then again, why didn't Malefor summon the destroyer earlier, he is a fool. Speaking of fools, CYNDER IS AN IDIOT! She could control wind, fear, poison and shadow. She could've just summoned a whirlwind and bust out of her prison. Poison the guards while cloaking using shadow and paralyses Gaul with fear and then kick him into the volcano! Adding to the lit of stupidity, THEY COULD JUST FLY OVER THE BELT OF FIRE! OMG OMG OMG SO SMART AND INTELLIGENT. IGNITUS SACRIFICED HIMSELF IN VAIN BECAUSE HE DID NOT HAVE THE LOGIC TO FLY OVER THE FIRE!" The crowd went wild.

"In conclusion, the logic in this game's logic is terrible, the characters are stupid and this game makes no sense." The crowd nods in agreement.

"I repeat, I do not mean to bash this game, I just felt like ranting today."

"Thank you thank you!" Neo shouted to the crowd.

Neo bows and leaves the stage.


	2. Rebuttals, FEATURING AVIMUS!

"Due to the positive reviews my rant got, I posted another chapter, this timeI'm rebutting the points Avimus posted in a review." Neo says.

"First I would like to welcome, AVIMUS!" Avimus walks onstage and shakes Neo's hand.

"Thank you all!" Avimus shouts to the crowd.

"So let's get started!"

Neo pulls out a remote and pushes a button, the screen behind springs to life showing many pictures, photos and texts.

We all love ranting! I could rant all day about things if I wanted to. That's why I want to write a little critical response to your "logical ranting." I'll address your points in "logical" order.

"Yeah, me too" comments Neo, pulling out a sheet of paper and reading it.

1. The planet's explosion wasn't a matter of gravity. If it was, then yes, the planet would probably have imploded, but that was simply not the case. Spyro reversed the flow of time using Convexity (And yes, Convexity is not a real concept, but neither is the game a real situation. It's fantasy, an escape from reality. Not everything has to follow the laws of our world, and even then, there are always exceptions to laws.). Aside from the fact that Spyro caused the switch, it could very well have happened in the real world. Time is much different than what we think it is. When we think of time, we think of seconds, minutes, and hours, past, present, and future, but that's only human perception. Time is not the same everywhere in the universe, and through Einstein's physical definition (rather than philosophical), theorists have argued over the possibility of time dilation, the variance in spacetime over multiple positions. I don't pretend to completely understand time, nor does anybody else, but "scientifically," it's possible.

**You can't manipulate time. To even travel through time, you need to travel faster than light, that's not scientifically possible since Einstein's theory states that the faster you go, the heavier you get. Also Einstein says that the faster you go the slower time flows for you. So that proves the "Time-Travel" theory wrong. If you travel faster than light, then the outside world would progress faster than you so you're basically waiting for time to pass instead of traveling through it. **

**Spyro did not reverse time, if he did, then he'll reset The planet to before the destroyer destroyed it which means the destroyer would re-enter the volcano and destroy the world again. The world would be stuck in an infinite loop!**

**By the way, time slows down to when it stops completely inside the event horizon of a black hole. If Spyro generated enough energy to reverse time, the power he unleashed would destroy the entire universe.**

2. There are countless crystals below the surface of plants, especially salts. Salts have an extremely high melting point. For instance, table salt, NaCl, has a melting point of 800 degrees C. That means that crystals remain solid at extreme temperatures. Of course, I can't combat the fact that the dragons were at the center of the planet on a stone platform, but this is again, fantasy. That fact does not detract from the value of the work.

**Right, right and right. I failed to take into account about the Chrystal's melting point. However, even if it was fantasy, the heat would kill everyone. Also the distance from the outer layer to the core is far too short for a planet, or even a moon, if you calculate this, Dragon Realms would be the size of an asteroid!**

3. That probably all happened, but if you look at my first explanation, the rebuilding of the planet was more of a question of time. Those effects were therefore reversed.

4. Have you ever heard of the tardigrade, the water bear? I love those little organisms! They can curl up into a ball, freeze for 10 years and dry up into a state of less than 3% water, and then revive themselves, good as new. Additionally, he didn't grow (I mean, Étranges Libellules, the producers, made him look really old, which was sort of annoying, but technically, he was the same age). There's no more scientific explanation to it.

**If you looked at Spyro in DOTD you'll realize that he changed shape dramatically, even the producers stated that he's grown. You can see the visible difference!**

5. I'll start with the belt, because there wasn't a way around it. It surrounded the land like a huge dome, not an open cylinder. Malefor would have noted that fact. As for Cynder, she was overwhelmed, and she'd only just regained her sense of free-will and self-necessity. Add to that that she was locked into chains and sapped of energy.

**If you looked at the cutscene, the belt was not a dome, it was only a big column of fire that went around the globe, another fact is that if it's a dome, THEN DIG UNDER IT!**

**Malefor wouldn't have noted the fact, he's an idiot, he didn't have the logic to kill Spyro and Cynder while they were trapped inside the crystal. He could've also summoned the destroyer earlier. Malefor is not a bright one, infact, he's not even remotely dim, his lightbulb is PITCH BLACK!**

**We'll never know what Cynder thought exactly. But you do have a point.**

So, you probably now think that I'm a diehard fan and a geek. I'm none of the former and more of the latter. I personally don't like the turns that Spyro took after the original, which is why I'm now writing Fanfiction! In my opinion, the characters were quite well-developed and likeable in the game, but I won't criticize you for not liking the plot or the personages. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion and I respect yours for that reason; you either like it or you don't.

I had a fun time writing this, a ranting fun time. Debating is just my sort of thing, you know? Best of luck,

-Avimus Celsec

"Thanks Avimus, without you this chapter wouldn't have existed!" Neo shakes Avimus" hand. "So let's give him a big round of applause!"

"THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Avimus shouts.

Neo and Avimus bows and walks offstage.


	3. Spyro Tries to Kill Me

**This short non-rant was inspired my Phoenix of Decay's review, he stated that Spyro should turn evil and attack Neo.**

**Here goes nothing.**

Neo was walking up to his next show, this time, he was going to rant about Skylanders when everything went wrong.

The roof blasted open revealing several dragons, clearly from The Dragon Realms.

"How dare you disgrace my world!" An all too familiar voice boomed, this time it was a bit more echo-y, like Dark Spyro's.

"I guess you're not a fan of my show." Neo replied.

"We came to kill you, you have disgraced my world enough, time to stop you from ever opening your mouth again!"

Dark Spyro lunged at Neo, Neo instinctively pulled out excalibur and parried Spyro's horns. Spyro blasted convexity at Neo. Neo formed a light shield and deflected the beam at Spyro. Spyro tumbled back into a wall.

"Useless, useless, useless!" another voice shouted. "I knew this was a fail mission!"

The creature revealed itself to be a Malefor.

"Hey look, that the idiot from my rant!" Neo taunted.

"I'm not an idiot! Except for bringing Spyro along with me."

"Stupidity confirmed." Neo said.

"Now I'm angry, prepare to DIE!" Malefor yelled.

Malefor charged at Neo but Neo darted to the left. He swung his sword at Malefor. Malefor bit onto excalibur and flung Neo against a wall. Malefor charged up a blasts in his jaws but Neo blasted Malefor in the mouth just quick enough. Malefor literally exploded.

The audience laughed, Neo then remembered that there were people watching this, luckily they all think this was an act or something.

"I told you two it was a bad idea!" A feminine voice said, revealing itself to be Cynder.

Neo could've just told Cynder to take Spyro away but he couldn't resist adding this comment.

"Hey look, it's the insecure dragoness with an illogical brain from my rants!"

Cynder got really mad and charged, she didn't stand a chance, Neo simply sidestepped and Cynder rammed against the ground effectively k coking herself unconscious.

The audience clapped.

"Now to clean this up!" Neo said, putting on an acting voice.

Neo pulled out a machine known as the Quantum Dial. It opened up a portal and sucked the two dragons back to where they came from.

"Now let us get on with the show!" Neo said, dusting his hands.

**Hey guys, hope you like my non-rant, here a fun trivia question to ask yourself, where did the machine known as The Quantum Dial appear in, clue: Archie Comics.**

**Coming up next: Skylanders Rant**


	4. The Offensive S Word: Skylanders

Thanks GhostPhoenix P.G. for giving the the idea of Neo glitching through his speech and including different OCs"

Neo paused for a moment.

"First things first, who likes Skylanders?"

Noone raised their hands.

"That's what I thought. SKYLANDERS SUCKS! Skylanders is a money making scheme that ruined Spyro just like Sonic 06 did to Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"First things first, have you noticed that Spyro looks like a troll and not a dragon? They just had to redesign him. Spyro just couldn't look like the original or TLOS series Spyro. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ACTIVISION! YOU MUST REDESIGN SPYRO AGAIN! Do anything but make him look like a gremlin! WHY YOU NO FIX SPYRO?!"

Neo suddenly stopped, the suddenly froze and kept repeating 'pyro' like a broken record. A few second later, his assistant, Force, pushed him over to fix him.

"We just had a report that there was a time disturbance in close proximity to this place."

"Please don't tell me it's dragon time."

"It is."

"Then use the Quantum Dial and reverse the power!"

Force did as he was told and Neo resumed his speech. Little did they know that it ripped a whole in space and time.

"Secondly, Skylanders is a rip off, it's a money making scheme!"

"There are over 100 skylanders to collect at the price of 30 dollars! ARGH! Activision must be swimming in gold now! Now they even stooped lower with Skylanders Swap Force, with that comes MORE lightcore, MORE Skylanders and possibly MORE giants. The worse thing about swap force is, remember how skylanders gates paths where you require a certain element or a giant to pass, NOW YOU NEED THE EXACT SKYLANDER TO PASS THAT GATE. I presume that they would cost 35 dollars and since there are 8 elements, 250 dollars. WHAT KIND OF RIP OFF IS THAT!?"

Neo paused for a second to respond to his message on his earphone.

"Oh yes, PLEASE WELCOME GHOSTPHOENIX G.P.'S DAKOTA!"

"Hello" Dakota says," coming onto the stage, "what am I here for?"

"Nothing, you're just here to increase our viewer count."

"You tricked me you 笨蛋!"

"Guards," Neo says, "Take him away!"

"That's all folks!" Dakota shouted while being dragged offstage.

* * *

**Did you enjoy it, make sure to review as always.**

**Next rant: WHY ARE THERE SO MANY TLOS FANFICTIONS**

BTW, please PM me for story requests. Just don't request a M rated one.


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